are we ever fully independent?

The definition of "independent" is: "not subject to control by others: SELF-GOVERNING". My question to you is whether you think that we ever reach that state? Is there such thing as not being controlled, or at least to some degree being influenced, by others?


When we are born we fully depend on our parents. They are our eyes, hands and more. They feed us and we rely on them to fulfil all our instant needs. As we grow older, we start depending more and more on ourselves, we have to start answering our own questions. However, till a certain age those answers are still greatly influenced by our parents' opinions and beliefs.


However, there comes a point in which we have to fully cut the rope and start being our own person. This is a hard thing to do for some. Depending on how tight the rope was in the first place. Although, this is a natural thing that must occur in each and one of us lives. If it doesn't it will create discomfort until this discomfort will force you to cut the rope and seek your independence. Better not to wait till you reach this point.


Why is this so hard for some? I believe it is because life comes down to a battle between comfort and discomfort. Unfortunately (and fortunately) for all, discomfort is often the one that will make us grow, while comfort was the one that made us survive. So, at some point our need to grow will eventually outgrow our need to survive.



So, coming back to our initial question: are we ever fully independent? 

I have no answer to this. But as I am processing this independence process on my own I came to the realisation that independence is a basic human need (for some more than others), however, we are always surrounded by dear ones, for whom we care and want the best as well. We don't want to hurt the people we love.


So, if one day it is your parents, the next day it will be your life partner and the next one it will be your children or a very good friend or a colleague.


It is easy to strive for our independence, but I am wondering, is this totally realistic? Or do we always need to make compromises of some sort for the people we love?

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