Do You Have a Healthy or Unhealthy Relationship With Your Ego?

Let me start by clarifying this: you ego is NOT your enemy. I know there is a hype around this; quotes mentioning "your ego is not your amigo" or spiritual books suggesting to entirely let go of you ego to find your pure soul and so on. Well, let me tell you, I tried this for a while, and...I lost my mind.


In fact, in accordance with Freud and Jung's definition of the Ego, it makes up your sense of identity and continuity, based on your private interactions with the reality around you. Your ego is what makes you you; it is what sets up your individuality, your likes and dislikes, your personal reactions and so on. So, for clarifications: neglecting your ego will make you lose yourself... and your mind.


However, this "nasty" attribution to the ego hasn't entirely come from nowhere. Your ego CAN become VERY toxic to you. Concretely, how does a healthy and unhealthy relationship with your ego resemble? The unhealthy extreme of the spectrum is the narcissist; The person who has extreme low self-esteem, thus, has an excessive need for admiration, disregards others' feelings, an inability to handle any form of criticism, and an extreme sense of entitlement. This is the unhealthiest relationship one can have with his ego because the ego has become them! They live out of fear and control and have left no more room for love and compassion, for themselves and others. What a shitty way to live.


On the contrary, a healthy relationship with your ego is one in which you have a good dose of self-esteem and love, set boundaries, have your unique expression of personhood, and have the ability to face painful emotions. Although, the main distinction is that your ego is not your master, rather you are his. You can have a little portion of yourself that holds to a particular image or yourself or praise yourself to some healthy degree, and still decide to leave a door open for love and compassion, always.


In short, to answer the question whether or not you have a healthy relationship with your ego; Don't ask yourself that, but rather ask yourself whether you are sufficiently acting out of love and compassion for yourself and others in your life? And you will get the answers to your question.

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